Sauced Secrets
by Insanegamr
Summary: A one-off in which Sam and Josh tuck a certain pair of drunk twins in, and Hannah throws Josh under the bus without either of them knowing about it. Pre-Vegan Psycho (not my term, and probably not the Fandom's name, but it's a good one, dammit!)


_Sauced Secrets_

"You got her?"

"Yeah, thanks. I'll be downstairs in a minute," Josh replied, giving Sam a look filled with gratitude. Honestly, he's hug her for this, were his arms not occupied with one _very_ inebriated, ceaselessly giggling twin. Sam had already gotten Hannah tucked in, which was no mean feat seeing as she was just as sloshed as Beth, if not more so.

Earlier that day, Mike and Emily had announced their relationship to their friends. Amid all of the congratulating from everyone else, Hannah had slipped away quietly to hurt by herself. Beth, in all of her newly found eighteen-year-old wisdom, decided that the appropriate reaction was for the both of them to get plowed until they forgot why they started drinking in the first place. When Josh finally found them, they were already half a bottle in and showed no signs of stopping; being the Glorious Elder Brother that they refused to acknowledge him as, he opted to share a shot or two while telling funny stories to keep their spirits up. After the one about Chris and his disastrous sixth grade Science Fair entry ("-I mean, seriously, he wouldn't have melted half the table had Ashley not spoken up _right then_..."), he discreetly texted Sam, informing her that her favorite set of siblings needed a DD, and stat.

"So, why exactly did they get wasted tonight?" Sam inquired, stepping aside so Josh could begin the process of getting her into the room she shared with Hannah.

Before he could come up with a witty quip, the beanie-headed body double currently using him as a replacement set of legs scowled ferociously (and adorably, but now wasn't the time to tease her about that) and grumbled some very unflattering wordds about Mike in Sam's general direction. A look of understanding sprinkled lightly with pity crossed the blondes' features, and she opted not to bring it up again for the evening.

He maneuvered the twin into the room while Sam headed out, presumably downstairs, and managed to get Beth under the sheets with a minimum of kicking and insisting that "She's got it!" He began to follow Sam downstairs, mission accomplished, when a plaintative voice stopped him.

"Josh?"

He looked toward the younger ("by a minute!") sister, diverting course to sit on her bedside.

"Yeah, Hannah-banana?"

A very brief look of irritation crossed her face, before being replace by the puzzlement that had been there originally.

"Why is the room spinning?"

"Because you're a lightweight," Josh teased, "and should know to leave the heavy drinking to the pros." He bowed only half-jokingly, then pouted at the loud snort that tore itself from the sibling on the other side of the room. He breifly glared at her still beanie-clad head, but she looked to be passing out momentarily, so he let it slide.

"It's not fair."

"Well, we can't all be like me, no matter how much you secretly-"

"Not that. The other...thing."

Well, _that_ shot the mood right in the balls.

"Yeah, it's not fair. Kinda why it's called a crush; you end up feeling like your insides got squished."

"Yeah." A clear sign of her inebriation, she didn't even argue over his use of the term. He had half-risen when she spoke up again. "Not like being in love, right, Josh?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, never been there."

"Liii-aaar," Hannah sing-songed. "I know your secret!"

"What secret?"

"About Sam."

Oh, sweet John Carpenter, not here and now. He quickly glanced at the doorway and found it mercifully clear of petite blonde vegans.

"What about my favorite Hobbit?"

"Jooooosh, be serious!" she whined, thumping him with her foot. (Again with the kicking? He's delicate, dammit!) He looked at her and found an adorable pout aimed in his direction, with watery, cocoa-hued eyes shining in the lamplight.

 _Not the look! ANYTHING but the look!_

"Okay, okay! Just stop it, you look like I outlawed bunnies or something!"

She snickers, and he sulks briefly. He would rather suffer a Kardashian marathon than admit it, but there wasn't much of anything he could refuse her when she got all kicked-puppy looking. More than once, she had used it to try to keep him from crossing into true jackassery; secretly, he was grateful.

"So, what's my horrible, hideous secret regarding your best friend?"

"It is NOT hideous, it's beautiful!" she declared, and he looked at the door again to make sure that their favorite blonde hadn't had her curiosity peaked by the noise. "You have fallen for her, Joshua Washington, and you've got it baaaad."

"What makes you think that?" he asked, hoping to irritate her by playing dumb. Instead, a soft, warm smile practically makes her radiant with joy, and a feeling of dread settled just below the thumping sack of meat he calls a heart.

"It's the way you look at her when you think no one is watching. You get this expression on your face, like what you are feeling is sooo big, and it's scary, and dangerous, and wonderful all at the same time. It's like, you're amazed that you get to be close with someone like her, and you keep expecting to wake up from a pleasant dream. And I've never see you look as happy as when you get her to smile at you, even if it's one of your dumber jokes she's laughing at."

Okay. Dread is _entirely_ justified. Good to know.

"Okay, first of all? My jokes are always brilliant, and you know it," Josh states, pointedly ignoring the raspberry she blew in response to that.

"And second? ...you're absolutely right."

Pure, unbridled joy lit up Hannah's face, and she looked rather like she would have begun cheering had he not hastily began talking again.

"But I need to know that you will not breathe a _word_ of this to anyone, okay? Not a soul."

She nodded, face gone appropriately solemn.

"I mean it. Secret Squirrel stuff, okay?"

She nodded once more, then stuck her pinky out. A soft smirk crossed his face as he linked pinkies; for all of her protesting, there were times where the unwanted label of 'baby of the family' was entirely too accurate.

"Good. My masculine dignity wouldn't survive if word got out."

Hannah scoffed, clearly thinking that his sense of humor was anything but perfectly timed. Kids today.

"Get some rest, okay? I'll see you in the morning."

"'K. Love you."

"Love ya too."

* * *

Unbeknownst to the siblings, the subject of their musing had waited just outside of the door, looking to walk downstairs with the big brother in tow. Eavesdropping wasn't Sam's goal when she heard them talking, but once her name had come up, all other thoughts ceased immediately.

She brushed moisture from her hazel eyes, fighting hard to keep an astonished grin from her features. She had her suspicions originally, but to hear her best friend go out of her way to get Josh to admit it was not something she expected to have happen this evening.

She finally lost the battle, her lips curling up as she walked downstairs to wait for him.

Well, it was good to know that her feelings were returned, at least. Thankfully, Hannah didn't spill the beans to Josh; Sam wanted to be the one to tell him, after all.

* * *

A/N: Just a one-shot that popped into my brain earlier today. It hit without any warning, and before I knew it, I was hammering away at my keyboard.

All of the Washington Sibling Fluff! Plus a dash of pre-Vegan Psycho for good measure.

I hope you enjoyed it, and as always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated!


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